10 YEARS OF MARRIAGE, AND SHE STILL KEEP HER EX’s STUFF
I knew Julius since college, he had created reputation of being a one girl man, and like many others in campus he suffered several heart breaks of which I suspect made him a family man he is today. He met Sakina at the entrance of a church few months before graduation. She soon become a regular visitor in the room i shared with J which eventually led to my rellocation after months of leaving the room to give them space.
They married the same year j graduated. Sakina was business focused thus she had started her own business long before this.
Before I take you down memory lane, Let me cut to the present where by these two are struggling to keep their marriage on the road.
One day Julius called me in the middle of the night, clearly, I was his only close friend. He had a huge fight with his wife, and wanted a reason to get him out of the house where he felt it was too hot for his comfort. That night we went to a nearest Bar and grab some beers as he explained his biggest fight with sakina.
“I wish she was more honest with me on using contraceptive, she knows how much I love kids” Julius screamed on my ears trying to overshadow the loud music in the Bar. He later said he found out that his wife did not want to get a baby, so she secretly used contraceptive without his knowledge. This broke him.
Julius was at a comfort zone with his career while Sakina was pushing boundaries and making more money while at it With the extra money she made, she bought two cars and handled most of the building cost for their new house . Julius was perfectly ok with this arrangement. They both had different strengths and thus he trusted Sakina very much. His perception about Sakina changed the moment he found out about the pills.
Her Ex’s belonging.
Despite of the tension created by the secret pill saga, love won again and they managed to live happily. J called me once again. This time with new discoveries. I thought to myself , what now. He was quick and precise. He told me to read my email as he drove over to my place. I wondered what sakina had done this time round.
“I found a certain box hidden with mans belongings in my house basement. When I asked my her who they belong to, she hesitated but later confessed that they belonged to her ex boyfriend. The bigger problem was that she was unwilling to throw them away.” She made it clear that she doesn’t love the guy but his belongings are so dear to her. She refused to dispose them saying they are almost 10 years old now and they pose no harm to the family.
“‘But why would she still want to keep pictures, watches and other stuff for a man she felt nothing for?” J kept asking. All this time am thinking how the hell did i become J’s personal adviser but as a friend i had to quickly think of something to tell him. Should he leave her just because she secretly used contraception and kept stuff from her former relationship or should he wait for bigger reason to leave her like cheating ?
With all my dating experience, i could not give J a definite answer to their problems. But, by the end of the day i knew what ever advice i give, J will definately need to way options on whats important to their love life.